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William Shatner: Shooting The Shit With Shat

William Shatner: No woman will ever be the President of the United States.

Sit back and relax as the greatest actor and musician in American history seranades you all with a tale or two from his earth-moving career. These are Shatner's epic, moving and often soul-touching words. Kind of.

William Fucking Shatner. Yes Sir!

Your initial reaction to my latest statement on this rather green and unintentionally sexual website would of course be one of shock, and you might respond with "Bill you sexist bastard!" To which I would immediately retort "Refer to me as Mr. Shatner you fucking worthless peasant or I will have your insignificant life snuffed out before you can say Captain's Log."

Now back to the truth behind my bold declaration.
While it is easy for many of you, women and men alike, to see me as nothing more than ignorant, and perhaps short sighted, you must clear your eyes of the anger, and empty your heads that are currently packed with shit.

Fact: Women hate women. Don't deny it ladies. True, many of you can pretend to get along, even for long periods of time, but these uneasy peace treaties are broken time and time again. Why? Because of the vagina. Yes. The vagina.

True, the vagina is a fleshy oasis that has brought me years of unbridled pleasure, but at its core, it is a beacon of evil. This evil pervades and controls your very being, thus being in possession of said vagina transforms its carrier into a vessel of hate.

The Vagina is also not unlike an evil magnet. Put two magnets up against one another and what occurs? They repel. Put two vaginas up against one another and what do you get? An outstanding scenario if it happens to occur within the comfort of my Harp Seal-skin sheets... but in every other instance... anger, fear, oppression... the vagina are these.

That being said, back to my point. No woman will never be the President of the United States.

Why? Because of women. Sure some women will vote for a female candidate, but even those in support will feel disdain for doing so. Most women will have a similiar reaction... "Who does that bitch think she is?!" or "Look at her hair, I couldn't vote for that!" or "No woman is gonna tell me what to do!"... the list of reasons will continue on and on, but all carry a familiar ring. Any campaign in support of a female candidate will be like attempting to rescue the Kobayashi Maru.

There will undoubtedly be more men than women voting for a female candidate. True there is a large contingent of men in the United States who exhibit an unparallelled brand sexism, but in California and New York their are men willing to support and cast their vote for a woman. We call them fags (in Montreal they are referred to as French).

All one needs do is some simple math. More than half the country is female... so the woman has already lost. Your loss however is my vagina... I mean our gain.

This is your Captain's Log.

- Sweet Bill.


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