The Sewer | TwistedEdge - Where Humour Goes To Die

An archive of cinema's most inept, most unintentionally hilarious failures.

Welcome to TwistedEdge's very own hall of shame. In here you'll find our loving, scathing spotlights on the most hideous cinematic abortions ever to disgrace our collective DVD players. These are, quite frankly, the most entertainingly dreadful films we've ever had the misfortune to encounter - films so bad they left us emotionally scarred and feeling as if we'd just been raped by a pack of wild gorillas. It is here that these wretched wastes of celluloid get the public humiliation they deserve. This is cinema's lowest ebb. This is The Sewer.
By the way, there's a whole seemingly random bunch of ratings and content icons going on in these reviews. To learn about them and decipher their cryptic meanings, click here.

	Spring Break Shark Attack. Various morons go to a beach then get eaten and die. One of the most tragically inept floating stools ever to be secreted from the murky world of made for TV cinema. A movie so tragically awful the only fun is betting who's gonna die.		Bridge Of Dragons. A futuristic post-apocoliptic world. Dolph Lundgren in a silly outfit walking around the countryside shooting the living crap out of stuff for no apparent reason. Cary Horoyuki-Tagawa in undoubtedly the world's most ridiculous haircut. Need we say more?
	Cyborg Cop. Men in leather jackets vs androids with their tits spray-painted silver. It doesn't get any better than this. Throw in a dizzy blonde, an irritating Bond villain wannabe and some of the most unconvincing action since Commando, and you're in for a classic.		Screamers. Witness Peter 'I was in Robocop' Weller give a master class of acting as he displays all of two emotions, while fighting a race of glorified toasters hell-bent on wiping out mankind. This is our review of sci-fi's equivalent to vaginal yeast infection.
	Ninja Squad. Fear the pink sissy ninja! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to quite possibly the worst martial arts movie ever made. Directed by the legendary / infamous Godfrey Ho and costing roughly three dollars to make, this movie puts the ass back into kickass.		Snowbeast. This movie is so good that we'd actually forgotten most of it by the time we'd ejected it from the DVD player. Watch as several morons get maimed by a guy in a furry rubber suit. Quite possibly the most infuriatingly dull movie we've ever seen.
	Commando. Arguably the most unintentionally hilarious and most homo-erotic kill-fest ever to embarrass the world of cinema. Having a Death By Cinema without this cinematic gem would be like having a porno with no boobies. This isn't a review... it's a shrine.		Troll 2. The scariest thing about this failure of a movie is that it doesn't actually contain any trolls. Watch as baffled goons eat green goo and turn into slime, only to be feasted upon by midgets in brown sweaters. There's even a pedophile grandad, just for kicks.
	Hercules In New York. So bad is the acting that Arnie was actually dubbed over. Watch as Hercules goes apeshit and kicks the living crap out of a bear. Watch as homo-erotic weirdo Gods prance around like girly-men. Watch as Mr Governor makes a total ass of himself.

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