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Death By Cinema - The Sewer

An archive of cinema's most inept, most unintentionally hilarious failures.

Welcome to TwistedEdge's very own hall of shame. In here you'll find our loving, scathing spotlights on the most hideous cinematic abortions ever to disgrace our collective DVD players. These are, quite frankly, the most entertainingly dreadful films we've ever had the misfortune to encounter - films so bad they left us emotionally scarred and feeling as if we'd just been raped by a pack of wild gorillas. It is here that these wretched wastes of celluloid get the public humiliation they deserve. This is cinema's lowest ebb. This is The Sewer.

By the way, there's a whole seemingly random bunch of ratings and content icons going on in these reviews. To learn about them and decipher their cryptic meanings, click here.

Death By Cinema: Die Hard starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and a shitload of dead Germans

Die Hard: yippee-ki-yay motherfucker!
Obviously the best action flick ever doesn't belong here. But we were bribed with beer, so we had no choice. Read our tribute to the movie that brought us unlimited guns, adrenaline, testosterone, and a fuck load of dead Germans.
Death By Cinema: Spring Break Shark Attack - blood, bullshit, bitches, boredom and b-movie all in one
Spring Break Shark Attack.
Various morons go to a beach then get eaten and die. One of the most tragically inept floating stools ever to be secreted from the murky world of made for TV cinema. A movie so tragically awful the only fun is betting who's gonna die.
Death By Cinema: Bridge Of Dragons starring Dolph Lundgren and Cary Horoyuki-Tagawa in a movie written by numerous retarded children
Bridge Of Dragons.
A futuristic post-apocoliptic world. Dolph Lundgren in a silly outfit walking around the countryside shooting the living crap out of stuff for no apparent reason. Cary Horoyuki-Tagawa in undoubtedly the world's most ridiculous haircut. Need we say more?
Death By Cinema: Cyborg Cop starring two men and far too much leather
Cyborg Cop.
Men in leather jackets vs androids with their tits spray-painted silver. It doesn't get any better than this. Throw in a dizzy blonde, an irritating Bond villain wannabe and some of the most unconvincing action since Commando, and you're in for a classic.
Death By Cinema: Screamers starring Peter 'Robocop' Weller in a movie that makes Robocop look like Citizen Kane
Screamers.
Witness Peter 'I was in Robocop' Weller give a master class of acting as he displays all of two emotions, while fighting a race of glorified toasters hell-bent on wiping out mankind. This is our review of sci-fi's equivalent to vaginal yeast infection.
Death By Cinema: Ninja Squad directed by the infamous Godfrey Ho, featuring the adventures of a hairless yet plucky Tiawanese man. And ninjas.
Ninja Squad.
Fear the pink sissy ninja! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to quite possibly the worst martial arts movie ever made. Directed by the legendary / infamous Godfrey Ho and costing roughly three dollars to make, this movie puts the ass back into kickass.
Death By Cinema: Snowbeast, in which a man in a furry monster suit calously disrupts everyones skiing holiday
Snowbeast.
This movie is so good that we'd actually forgotten most of it by the time we'd ejected it from the DVD player. Watch as several morons get maimed by a guy in a furry rubber suit. Quite possibly the most infuriatingly dull movie we've ever seen.
Death By Cinema: Commando starring Arnold Schwarzenegger - Arguably the most unintentionally hilarious and most homo-erotic kill-fest ever to embarrass the world of cinema
Commando.
Arguably the most unintentionally hilarious and most homo-erotic kill-fest ever to embarrass the world of cinema. Having a Death By Cinema without this cinematic gem would be like having a porno with no boobies. This isn't a review... it's a shrine.
Death By Cinema: Troll 2, a movie that doesn't even have any Trolls in it
Troll 2.
The scariest thing about this failure of a movie is that it doesn't actually contain any trolls. Watch as baffled goons eat green goo and turn into slime, only to be feasted upon by midgets in brown sweaters. There's even a pedophile granddad, just for kicks.
Death By Cinema: Hercules In New York starring Arnold Schwarzenegger in a performance so bad they dubbed him over
Hercules In New York.
So bad is the acting that Arnie was actually dubbed over. Watch as Hercules goes apeshit and kicks the living crap out of a bear. Watch as homo-erotic weirdo Gods prance around like girly-men. Watch as the former Governor makes a total ass of himself.

Click here to go back and leave these decaying cinematic turds behind.
Click here to go back to the home page Click here to see our foolish and drunken attempts at humour Click here to read our humiliation of the worst cinematic abortions the movie industry has to offer Click here to see some of the most bizarre news the web's ever puked out

Click here to see the barrage of other crap we have lying around