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Racking up corpses - the results are in!

Potential victim: The bumbling, plaid-loving testicle.
Odds of mutilation: 38%
Actual outcome: Wounded but sadly still amongst the ranks of the living. Damn it all to hell...

Despite whatever endless prayers, pagan sacrifices or other witchcraft I tried in order to tempt the Gods into offing this putrid, flesh-quaking puke-basket, it seems somehow the life of this particular dick-squirt is sacred. Someone up there truly seems to have smiled upon this plaid-obsessed loser and his nightmare-inducing eyebrows.

He does however, as you can see from the rather glorious and pleasing screenshot to the left, somehow manage to get a rather fabulous harpoon all the way through his shoulder. I was pleasantly surprised by this to be honest, given the family-friendly and seemingly wholesome nature of this train wreck of a movie.

Just take a moment to oggle that image. Take a second to soak it all in. See the look of pissing fear on his face? That squirm? Fabulous.

Did you have this particular gibbon down as being one for the chopping block? Neither did I. Another shame really as his death would have made the world a much better, happier place to be. The awesome screenshot above though will decorate my dreams with glee forever. I bet the chickenshit shark-survivor pissed himself real good there. Yeah...

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Click here to go back to the home page Click here to see our foolish and drunken attempts at humour Click here to read our humiliation of the worst cinematic abortions the movie industry has to offer Click here to see some of the most bizarre news the web's ever puked out

Click here to see the barrage of other crap we have lying around