Click here to go back to the home page Click here to see our foolish and drunken attempts at humour Click here to read our humiliation of the worst cinematic abortions the movie industry has to offer Click here to see some of the most bizarre news the web's ever puked out Click here to see the barrage of other crap we have lying around


Vladimir's new stalking adventure! Part four!

Have you read my first part? No! You have face like Lassie taking shit! Make there it now!

So are you smiling on Vlad's amazing amazing extra special ultra sexy adventure? Are you salavating? Do you like to salavate? I do! Are you enjoying adventure of ride with Vlad? THERE IS MORE!

As see you from very big picture in above, Brain writes again! Vladimir is wet with anticipation! He cries that picture of Brain face not on site! He still has not received hair?! DAMN THE INEFFICIENT AMERICAN POSTAL SERVICE - THEY DO THINGS VERY HOMOSEXUALLY AND HAVE VERY STICKY HANDS! VLAD HOPES SMELLY POSTMAN BE MOLESTED BY MIMES! HA! I LAUGH AT THEIR MEDIOCRE GOATS!

So Vlad go to internet happy place of Rogues, who be funny little men who live in cupboard and write about movies and do not get much sun. I think Part-time Ninja is a Rogue - he is cooler than big man Fonz who has sexy leather jacket Eeeeeeyyyyy! I like Part-time Ninja. David is very nice man but does not shave. From Rogue hole Vlad get Brain picture.

Brain has very big shoulders. Vlad likes Brain even more now with picture. Brain is older man and Vlad liking of this muchly! Vlad like older big strong man to grapple with and Brain has big, strong hands. Mmmm. Vladimir Puchovsky has armpits that smell like Vanilla. Brain will lick them! Extra points yes! Hooray!

As see you from very big picture in above, Brain writes again! Vladimir is wet with anticipation! He cries that picture of Brain face not on site! He still has not received hair?! DAMN THE INEFFICIENT AMERICAN POSTAL SERVICE - THEY DO THINGS VERY HOMOSEXUALLY AND HAVE VERY STICKY HANDS! VLAD HOPES SMELLY POSTMAN BE MOLESTED BY MIMES! HA! I LAUGH AT THEIR MEDIOCRE GOATS!

So Vlad go to internet happy place of Rogues, who be funny little men who live in cupboard and write about movies and do not get much sun. I think Part-time Ninja is a Rogue - he is cooler than big man Fonz who has sexy leather jacket Eeeeeeyyyyy! I like Part-time Ninja. David is very nice man but does not shave. From Rogue hole Vlad get Brain picture.

Brain has very big shoulders. Vlad likes Brain even more now with picture. Brain is older man and Vlad liking of this muchly! Vlad like older big strong man to grapple with and Brain has big, strong hands. Mmmm. Vladimir Puchovsky has armpits that smell like Vanilla. Brain will lick them! Extra points yes! Hooray!

Vlad have many many many many wonderful and steamy and sexy and naughty and rubanesque dreams about friend Brain and hairy chests and much dancing to music of discos in 1980s and skipping and forrests and trees! SMELL THE PINE! Laugh at the quiet squirrel in tree and nuts chewed! HELLO MISTER SQUIRREL. HOW ARE YOUR NUTS?

Vlad have quantity of romantic dreams with Brain and the dancing and the skipping on beach in leotard like Baywatch because they wear red! I am red! Mother Russia smiles yes like Clinton when world pretend he not blowjob loving mofo. When Vlad think of nice nice man Brain he think of theme song from Friends very funny often yes. I'll be there for you Brian! Like I be there before! Being close special fried on Brian be like ultra religious experience with dancing and candles and MARRY and Vlad wearing the white dress and SKIPPING.

YOU DO NOT YET KNOW ABOUT VLADIMIR'S EXCELLENT SKIPPING AND AUTHENTIC BAVARIAN LEG DANCING! VLADIMIR FUCKING JEDI HAIIIIIYAH! Force be with Vladimir! HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF MY LIGHT SABER?!


Mark Hammill is very sexy and has voice like porn in computer game Gabriel Knight. But Vlad stuck on game SO VLAD SMASH WITH EXCEPTIONALLY LARGE LIGHT SABER! Light sabers are good because they burn holes in people. VLAD WOULD LIKE TO BURN IN YOUR HOLE!

Vlad hope Brain not like gum which stupid because lose flavor when Vlad chew despite how much Vlad spit on it! Who is stealing my juice?! Vlad hope Brain not like gum. Will Brain let me chew and suck in Brain flavour? MINTY FRESHNESS OR MONEY BACK! AHAHA HA HA HA! Chewing gum is sticky in Vlad's hands when Vlad spits because Vlad likes to spit and Vlad not get rid of sticky substance. Vlad has sticky hands and people not believe when say why fingers stick they look and smeary, white residue on hands and laugh at Vlad and Vlad go back to room and cry and cry until My Little Pony is on TV and then Vlad happy and Vlad think of Brain and horses and excellent standard of flavour in Brain's chew stick!

Because nasty people are nasty Vlad stay inside and have much much time to do things and dream about horses and meadows and Brain. I LOVE YOU BRAIN! Vlad has not yet told Brian or his massive shoulders about big plan to marry Brain with church! Oh how we shall laugh. Vlad make arrangements, picking out cake and dress and things from catalogue Vlad steal from old lady next door. She smells of coconuts and does not like it when Vlad shows her massive light saber.

She not understand how much it burns when Vlad wave it around.

Vlad will not be writing very special Reindeer letter to smelly Santa and instead write big special happy letter to JOHN LITHGOW because Vlad want him to be priest. He is really alien from big far planet and Vlad can tell because he know where John Lithgow lives and has excellent binoculars! Vlad is very good at climbing trees!

HELLO AGAIN MISTER SQUIRREL! WE ARE BOTH ENJOYING YOUR NUTS!

I hope Brain likes Vlad or else Vlad will be leaving country again like unfortunate incident with Charlie Sheen.

I LOVE

YOU

BRAIN!!!!!!!!!!

Click here to back to go menu and because Vlad be HAPPY FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND!

Or clicking here to bring mails to Vlad! Electronic mails! Are journey to future! Often!

Click here to go back to the home page Click here to see our foolish and drunken attempts at humour Click here to read our humiliation of the worst cinematic abortions the movie industry has to offer Click here to see some of the most bizarre news the web's ever puked out

Click here to see the barrage of other crap we have lying around